Proof that God Loves Us

In case you ever doubted it:

•    He carefully routed a river through every city
•    And dug out a nice harbor for most of the coastal ones
•    And, in the tropics, put in a nice reef passage too.

• Coffee

• He made sure Jesus was born right on Christmas Day, when everyone is celebrating anyway

• When bits of stone crumble from bridges and smash to the sidewalk below, it always happens early on a cold morning so there’s no one there to get hurt.

•  Making fire by friction is really hard.  Parents of boys, be thankful.

•  But getting smoke is easy.  Boys, be thankful.

•  When it’s icy out, the sun is always low enough to glint off it and warn you

•  Break a twig off a maple or birch tree during the sap run, and the sugar concentrates at the tip of the sapsicle 

Proof that he hates us:

•   Alcohol speeds the process of sunstroke AND freezing to death, whichever you drank it to escape
• So does humidity, and that’s not even fun.
• Leaving sea salt on your skin makes you hotter or colder, whichever you don't want

• Scrapes always occur in places that are hard to bandage
• And blisters, in places that sweat

• Toxic mercury salts taste sweet
•  So does antifreeze, at least according to dogs
• And mercury’s fun to play with

• Cold-water immersion makes you gasp

• If you're dressed suitably for exercise, and hurt yourself, you'll get not only hurt but cold

• Behavior patterns specific to one sex, mostly impress members of that same sex: makeup, anorexia, manicures, machismo, mechanical tinkering, sports, gossiping
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• Pick-two trifectas: Desire/Opportunity/Ability; Cheap/Lightweight/Long-Lasting.